This is the letter I sent the woman on Iwannapukebook (“facebook”
who reposted my “Boy, your boots can leave a mess” post, along with the brilliant statement, “some people don’t know how to take opposing opinions…”. Please comment/ 
, as I really want to know why women are behaving this way! It scares the poop out of me… Pseudonyms used (*) to protect personal privacy, (and dignity) 
A_P____*,
Shame on you, as the mother of ?? children (this is not intended as an insult, I’m expressing honest concern as I believe one of your children is a boy) for promoting the idea that it is A-OK to have a man violate you. Anal rape (i.e. non-consensual anal sex) has been one of my biggest fears since age 18 when it first happened. This does not mean that 8 years later I’m somehow projecting that and other incidences onto the man whom we are speaking of, my ex-partner! I’ve worked through the past issues with sexual abuse consellors long ago.
He knew very well, after many discussions about the topic, that this was one of my greatest fears. Then he did it, TWICE. The first time, there may have been some confusion, as I told him he could “surprise me” with oral sex while I was sleeping…a bit of a stretch, but he was drinking about 40 ounces of liquor per day throughout the first two weeks of July. He then told me that I HAD to wear CLOTHING to bed, or else expect to be treated this way – how could a woman not expect this, if she was lying in bed, nude? Thus, I put on my men’s pajama pants and a sweater at bedtime. THEN, I awoke to find my pajama pants pulled down just past my butt, with him raping me up the ass, quite forcefully this time, and it was rather hard to get him off of me while he cackled with laughter. IS THIS KIND OF TREATMENT OF A SURVIVOR OF PREVIOUS SEXUAL ABUSE TOLERABLE IN YOUR WORLD? HE DECIDED TO TORTURE ME DURING THE FIRST TWO WEEKS IN JULY, as I describe in the post you reposted on this face(hate)book, along with the insanely presumptuous and in all honesty, disgraceful to womankind, statement. Refusing to let me sleep by YELLING in my ear, “STUPID CUNT, STUPID CUNT, STUPID CUNT…” + other insulting nonsense, ad nauseam.
The two women and one man who witnessed the way he treated me (AND THEM, referring almost strictly to the two other women) are the only people who take my claims to be truthful, and testify that they reflect the truth. I called one of them in tears immediately after the second incident. These other women were also privy to his verbal and psychological abuse (being ordered to leave his cabin and spend the night in the woods because Nicole, after being treated like this for hours on end, finally asked him to stop being “cruel” – “cruel” was SUCH an unacceptable word to use that it warranted this punishment – TORTURE – the threat of an encounter with a cougar, and hours spent outside in cold weather, four hours north of Vancouver). My current roommates were also called names throughout a camping trip and the following two weeks before his arrest, mostly directed at the woman – stupid, idiot, “don’t know anything”, cunt, bitch, etc. He’s damn lucky that the man (her partner) did not attack him, but my friends and I are civilized, perhaps to a fault.
So please, shut your mouth when you have NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. And yes, I will be posting this letter (anonymously, of course) on my site. Women who take this position without knowing any of the facts BLOW MY MIND – I would LOVE to know, WHY ON EARTH you would make such assumptions without listening to the survivor’s side of the story, and hearing some insight from others is why I have chosen to make the post. And all this after advising me to seriously consider “walking away” from the relationship during his winter hospitalization as not to have my Master’s Degree “derailed”, as it has been now, though I am terribly excited to go to law school next year, and see this turn of events as more of a blessing than a curse. Blindly supporting a man, why – because of some kind of “closeness” you share because he was drunk and drove you into a tree, causing permanent damage to your body that still affects you every day? He was doing a lot of that too during said camping trip from hell – he nearly drove us off a cliff, and I had to threaten to grab the wheel several times as he chugged Jaggermeister and beer while driving the winding Harrison West Service Road, of course refusing to let anyone holding a MAP give him directions, or answer any of our thirty or so polite requests to pull over and calm down. I thought he no longer drove drunk after your accident. Of that I was also mistaken.
During the first two weeks of July, I watched this man morph from my supportive and respectful fiancée into a complete monster that I wanted nothing to do with. At first I PLEADED with the court to get rid of the charges, and they refused. Then I realized, this was the second time he had abused me (the first time was physical), never mind the emotional abuse, and that during a “manic episode” one has a little control over their behaviour, by choice, than to abuse their partner repeatedly. The only time this could be blamed solely on “mental illness” is if one were to be in the throes of a complete psychosis – i.e. that one such asschizophrenic undergoes, like notorious individuals such as Vince Li (whose trial I attended, and whom I have great sympathy for) the “Greyhound Bus Beheader”, as referred to in the sensational meainstream media, have been under during their own offenses. I believe such individuals should be kept at a locked, psychiatric facility, until they reach the point through a combo of therapy/meds/etc. of being completely relieved of their psychosis (which they usually appreciate more than anyone!…you should have seen the look of horror and guilt on Li’s face as he was taken into the courtroom by guards), and realize what the consequences of their actions towards others are. This is quite a radically “liberal” position!
If he was in his “right mind” when he did these things to me, I would classify him as a psychopath.
Please keep your hands and words out of this – not only is it extremely disrespectrul, but you could get yourself in trouble with the Crown.
Cheers,
Jen
Response Pending (and not expected…a passive aggressive “UNFRIEND!” is what I’m betting on)!
