A Letter to No One, Everyone, and All in Between (April 2013)

jenniferlreimer...but could not address., Bipolar

manic

if it is not emboldened it might not make sense oh, You, I will slow down… why is April of all months the way that it always is.  Always a surprise.  Just like that cursed survival instinct that forces a person to put their feet on the ground every single morning before realizing that everything is gone or on fire … Read More

jenniferlreimerA Letter to No One, Everyone, and All in Between (April 2013)

jenniferlreimerBipolar, East Van, Family, Feminism and Madness, Mad Society, Meds, Meds, Meds!, Sociology of Medicine, Transcend

jenniferlreimerEmotional Invalidation Questions & Definitions

Can Trazodone Kill You, Risperidone Overdose Death, and Other Scary Words

jenniferlreimerBipolar, Transcend

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I’ve been keeping track of what search terms people use when they land at Practice of Madness. I’ve also been feeling discouraged as hell about myself – my job, my relationships, <is this some kind of looming depression>, my image in the mirror, my muddy feet, my everything. A month ago I was so positive about my everything, my future particularly. … Read More

jenniferlreimerCan Trazodone Kill You, Risperidone Overdose Death, and Other Scary Words

DSM Criteria for Mania, Mixed Episode, and/or Depression

jenniferlreimerBipolar, Psychiatrists

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Over the past several days, my family and I have had trouble finding a clear definition, used by psychiatrists – i.e. from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR – available here on Practice of Madness for free) – of mania.  The initial definition, once located in the book that is over 900 pages long :amazed , leads … Read More

jenniferlreimerDSM Criteria for Mania, Mixed Episode, and/or Depression

Anxiety Squared: My Soul is Shaking

jenniferlreimerBipolar, Meds, Meds, Meds!, Poetry, Prose, Personal, Transcend

For the ??th time today, my entire being is shaking.  Literally, my hands tremble and hit the wrong keys as I attempt to type this.  Backspace.  Each time I wake up – which is often after the stress bomb that went off two weeks ago when my status went from having a home to being homeless for the fourth or … Read More

jenniferlreimerAnxiety Squared: My Soul is Shaking

Six Feet Under: Television for Serial Insomniacs, Christmas Rejects, and the Terminally Insane

jenniferlreimerAcademia is Nuts!, Bipolar, Mad Society, Other Survivors, The Psych Ward, Transcend

It is 4:25 am.  My lucky number, 25.  Cat Power is singing in my ears and my dad is sound asleep in the hotel bed beside me, as I listen to Cat Power’s album Dear Sir, named after that poem written by Anne Sexton that I always mix up with the work of Sylvia Plath, and may have done the … Read More

jenniferlreimerSix Feet Under: Television for Serial Insomniacs, Christmas Rejects, and the Terminally Insane

Something in Between, I Guess

jenniferlreimerBipolar, Meds, Meds, Meds!, The Psych Ward, Transcend

I have a brand new scar on my left calf, and the story of how it got there is a real doozer.  I am reminded of the lyrics of two of my favourite Leonard Cohen songs: “It looks like freedom but it feels like death, it’s something in between, I guess, it’s closing time.” (“Closing Time”, L. Cohen) and, “There’s … Read More

jenniferlreimerSomething in Between, I Guess

Solstice Song (for the “manic”, by season)

jenniferlreimerBipolar, Poetry, Prose, Personal, Transcend

</Re: moratorium on posting during giving month – i cannot beat my addiction to writing and sharing.  i will write short posts when i must.  i will save drafts to publish in july when i when i get less intense urges/> A Song For This Post (It’s early, morning, no one is awake, I’m up, at my cliff, just throwing … Read More

jenniferlreimerSolstice Song (for the “manic”, by season)

Pocahontas, Jimmy Stewart and Me

jenniferlreimerBipolar, Poetry, Prose, Personal, Transcend

Indeed, no one said it would be easy.  No one said it would be like anything at all, hell, that “no one” really is “no one” – we do not meet omnipotent companions along the way that promise anything, bad or good, and sometimes life does not feel like life.  It seems like killing time.  If you want to take … Read More

jenniferlreimerPocahontas, Jimmy Stewart and Me

“Have You Taken Your Meds Today?”

jenniferlreimer"Health Care", Bipolar, East Van, Effexor: Evil?, Feminism and Madness, Mad Society, Meds, Meds, Meds!, The Psych Ward, Transcend

Alas, a question that us psych patients have heard far too many times – after all, one time is “too many” – from our nearest and dearest.  However, it was no one near, nor dear, that, very bizarrely, popped the question to me the other day.  An “anonymous” prank phone caller, after eerily listing off a list of women’s names in monotone … Read More

jenniferlreimer“Have You Taken Your Meds Today?”

Me, Here, Now

jenniferlreimerBipolar, Mad Society, Poetry, Prose, Personal, Transcend

“I’ve built my own empire, out of car tire, and kitchen wire, and I’m queen of my own compost heap, and I’m getting used to the smell…”  – Ani DiFranco, “Swan Dive” No matter how awful – and it has been pretty damn rip-roaring terroristic terrible, a string quartet has been playing “Hotel California” for days that became weeks that … Read More

jenniferlreimerMe, Here, Now

When Did Humanity End? Did I Sleep In? Was I Absent That Day?

jenniferlreimerBipolar, Laughter = Survival, Mad Society, Other Survivors, Transcend

Thank-you for saving my life. Yes, that means you.  Y.O.U.! After losing my friend at Pacific Centre, Vancouver’s downtown mall, in its shiny upscale glory, and having had my iPhone (camera/music collection/calculator/school notes/flashlight/teleportation device/et al. ….boy do I miss the days when someone could steal your phone without taking all those other things, or gank a CD without taking your … Read More

jenniferlreimerWhen Did Humanity End? Did I Sleep In? Was I Absent That Day?

What is Folie à Deux? (feat. “Madness in the Fast Lane” Documentary)

jenniferlreimerBipolar, Documentaries, Mad Society, Other Survivors, The Psych Ward, Transcend

Folie à Deux (English pronunciation /foˈli ə ˈduː/, From the French “a madness shared by two”  ) or Shared Psychosis is a psychiatric syndrome characterized by symptoms of a delusional belief being transmitted from one individual to another.The Same syndrome in more than two people may be called “Folie À Trois” (3), “Folie à Quatre” (4), “Folie à Famille” (“Family”, … Read More

jenniferlreimerWhat is Folie à Deux? (feat. “Madness in the Fast Lane” Documentary)