From the Vault: “Families… Histories, Mysteries, Consistencies.”

jenniferlreimerEmotional Invalidation, Family, Images, Longer Stories, THE VAULT (aka: S.O.N.A.N.O.)

divorcing your children

My dad since ripped these down and threw them in the trash.  “I thought they reminded you of bad memories!”, was his excuse.  Instead of apologizing, he tried to make me feel sorry for him – the humanitarian, making sure nothing triggered a panic attack or episode of PTSD.   Well, these collages were symbols of the best times of … Read More

jenniferlreimerFrom the Vault: “Families… Histories, Mysteries, Consistencies.”

Me, There, Then: Part Three

jenniferlreimerLonger Stories

blue pill red pill Downtown Eastside Vancouver

Here are Parts One and Two if you missed them! Continue with Part Three: …The girl that I had been a mother to since my mom first became ill, the girl I taught how to read and how to write, the girl that I played dolls with all day while my friends were out, doing teenage things, the girl that … Read More

jenniferlreimerMe, There, Then: Part Three

Me, There, Then – Part Two

jenniferlreimerLonger Stories

Jennifer L reimer collage art

…My route had just become more predictable. So, what did I realize?… When I went home for Christmas, a few weeks back, a few incredibly tragic things happened. For one, I was thrown down a staircase and brutally raped while strangers watched. That, though, I could deal with. It was nothing new to me, being violated, being called names. I … Read More

jenniferlreimerMe, There, Then – Part Two

Me, There, Then – Part One (Warning: Explicit Drug Use)

jenniferlreimerLonger Stories

smoking crack

More, now, from the files that I hammered out on my keyboard last fall, maybe on this exact day, alone in my tiny apartment in the tiny town called Trail, deep in the Canadian Rockies, so deep that any major city was a four hour drive away.  I had moved there to escape Vancouver.  I have never written in detail … Read More

jenniferlreimerMe, There, Then – Part One (Warning: Explicit Drug Use)

You Don’t Talk Much When You’re Comatose: My Near Death Experience, Part 3

jenniferlreimerFeminism and Madness, Longer Stories

near death experience practice of madness

(Don’t worry, part three is below if you’ve already read this, and Parts 1 and 2: “You Don’t Talk Much When…” – if not, click to read.)  In In Limbo,an unappreciated letter given and forgotten by its estranged recipient, I state that it is the only attempt I ever made to describe my near death experience (NDE) in words.  That is no longer the case. … Read More

jenniferlreimerYou Don’t Talk Much When You’re Comatose: My Near Death Experience, Part 3

You Don’t Talk Much When You’re Comatose: My NDE, Part 1

jenniferlreimerLonger Stories, Poetry, Prose, Personal

In In Limbo, an unappreciated letter given and forgotten by its estranged recipient, I state that it is the only attempt I ever made to describe my near death experience (NDE) in words.  That is no longer the case.  Last fall, I wrote ferociously.  Almost a year has gone by and only two people have read any of my writing from fall/winter … Read More

jenniferlreimerYou Don’t Talk Much When You’re Comatose: My NDE, Part 1

Girl X: A Short Story

jenniferlreimerFeminism and Madness, Longer Stories

miscarriage birth

Earlier this year, when writing some kind of memoir was still on my mind (I have since decided that if I do write a book, it will be a collection of essays, some fictional, some drawn from experience – I think that our current culture demands illustration and this is a lot more important than the story of my life), I … Read More

jenniferlreimerGirl X: A Short Story

How I Pulled Myself Out of the Gutter: Part One (The Gutter)

jenniferlreimer"Health Care", East Van, Longer Stories, Mad Society, Sociology of Medicine, The Psych Ward, Transcend

Part One is Dedicated to Wendy M. that I met at the “Hotel Vic” (unit six and Winnipeg’s Victoria General Hospital) and who has been a close friend ever since: For reminding me what a friend really is, and believing in me when I no longer believed in myself. Part One: The Gutter – Destruction, Discrimination, Death-Wishes January through April, … Read More

jenniferlreimerHow I Pulled Myself Out of the Gutter: Part One (The Gutter)

A Proposition

jenniferlreimerLonger Stories

I’ve had time to think over the past month.  Not putting my thoughts down on the page but letting them stew for a while has allowed them to grow.  I guess this is what “cooking from scratch”, essentially, means. The other day I posted the first page of what is becoming a brand new, much improved, “To Live Like This”, … Read More

jenniferlreimerA Proposition

If you give into the chaos…

jenniferlreimerBipolar, Longer Stories, Poetry, Prose, Personal

…it really does give back. Part of an Epilogue My life was not supposed to be like this.  I was born into the arms of two incredibly loving beings, who decided to have me, who wanted me more than anything.  Mom stayed at home because dad’s salary was enough for us to maintain a comfortable, middle-class lifestyle.  Dad came home … Read More

jenniferlreimerIf you give into the chaos…

New Page: The Journal of a Lost 19/20 Year-Old (2005)

jenniferlreimer"Health Care", Bipolar, Longer Stories, Mad Society, Meds, Meds, Meds!, Other Survivors, Poetry, Prose, Personal, Psychiatrists, The Psych Ward, Transcend

A quick note to tell you that I have finally created a page that encompasses the 200+ page word document that kept me alive during the beginning of my psychiatrization, and some of the scariest times in my life…

jenniferlreimerNew Page: The Journal of a Lost 19/20 Year-Old (2005)

Living at your parents’ house as an adult… Histories, Mysteries, Consistencies.

jenniferlreimerBipolar, Longer Stories, Meds, Meds, Meds!, Poetry, Prose, Personal

It’s something some thirty-somethings I know have been doing for many, many years.  How they stay sane, I do not know.  Actually, scratch that, none of them are sane!  They are the nuttiest people I know, and usually in the most negative of ways.  Nutty is fabulous.  Negative is not.  Plus, the ones I’m thinking of right now give disability … Read More

jenniferlreimerLiving at your parents’ house as an adult… Histories, Mysteries, Consistencies.

She Must Be Crazy: Psychiatric Discourse, The “Personality Disorders”, and the Social Regulation of Subversive Women

jenniferlreimerAcademic Work, Longer Stories

chromatic_spills_12_by_richard530-d56e92t

She Must Be Crazy: Psychiatric Discourse, The “Personality Disorders”, and the Social Regulation of Deviant Women “I have gone out, a possessed witch, haunting the black air, braver at night; dreaming evil, I have done my hitch over the plain houses, light by light: lonely thing, twelve-fingered, out of mind. A woman like that is not a woman, quite. I … Read More

jenniferlreimerShe Must Be Crazy: Psychiatric Discourse, The “Personality Disorders”, and the Social Regulation of Subversive Women

My 2005 journal, “The Borderline Papers”

jenniferlreimerLonger Stories

The Borderline Papers Part One: Winter January 28, 2005 If only I could pinpoint the moment when the mirror flipped on me. “You’re the best, Jen.”  There’s a slight hint of caution in her voice that would probably go unnoticed by anyone else.  And that tiny pause before she replied.  She’s made this statement not because she believes in the … Read More

jenniferlreimerMy 2005 journal, “The Borderline Papers”